Your child goes to daycare and you go to work. Most days this feels fine, but sometimes a nagging sense of guilt creeps in: am I really doing the right thing here? At work, your mind drifts to your child — and when you're with your child, your head is full of work thoughts and to-do lists. You feel guilty far more often than you'd like. So how do you break the cycle?
Kimberley Galenkamp, a leading parenting coach within organizations, helps thousands of parents every year navigate the tug-of-war between parenthood and work — and she has some answers.
Quality over quantity
First and foremost, it's important to recognize that quality beats quantity every time. Your child craves connection. What matters most is that you're fully present — mentally and emotionally — during the moments you spend together. The number of hours you work says nothing about the bond you're building with your child. There are parents who are physically always there but mentally somewhere else entirely. The good news? The quality of your time together is something you can actually control.
Guilt is a positive signal
It might sound strange, but the very fact that you're questioning whether you're doing enough as a parent shows that you are a caring, engaged parent. You care deeply about making the right choices — and so it's completely natural to feel guilty sometimes. The next time that feeling surfaces, remind yourself that it's actually a really good sign.
Stop comparing yourself to others
Scrolling through social media might feel like a way to unwind, but the downside is that it puts you in a constant cycle of comparison. Rationally, you know it makes no sense to measure yourself against the curated 1% of someone's day that they choose to share — but emotionally, it chips away at your confidence. Be selective about who you follow (do they make you feel good or not?), how long you spend on social media each day, and when. And when you're with your child? Put the phone down. The greatest luxury of our time is being truly present in the moment and genuinely enjoying this phase of life with your little one.
Good enough is good enough
In my training sessions and coaching for parents, I often talk about glass balls and rubber balls. Glass balls are the things that matter most to you — the ones you can't afford to drop. Think of time with your family, your work, and time for yourself. Rubber balls are also valuable, but if you drop them, it's not the end of the world — in fact, they'll bounce back to you eventually. Think of things like a spotless house or maintaining relationships with family or friends that aren't your top priority right now.
Take a moment to ask yourself: which balls are glass for you right now? Which ones can bounce? And which ones can you let go of entirely?
Asking for help is a strength
This brings us to another key point: asking for help. Many parents see asking for help as a sign of weakness, because it can feel like everyone else is managing just fine on their own. But you've probably heard the saying: 'It takes a village to raise a child.' You were never meant to do this alone. Reach out to a good friend. Outsource the tasks that drain your energy. And talk with your partner about how you can support each other in your roles as parents.
Reflect
Set aside a moment each week to check in with yourself about everything going on in your life. Ask yourself: "What went well?", "What did I learn?", "What are my priorities for the week ahead?" By zooming out, reflecting, and looking forward, you'll find more clarity and calm in your mind. But more importantly, it helps you make conscious, intentional choices — and when you make deliberate choices, you'll experience far less guilt.
You're human, and feelings of guilt are completely normal. Just don't let them take over. Your child doesn't need a perfect parent. Your child needs an emotionally available parent who enjoys life and cherishes the moments you share. Make conscious choices — and don't forget to include yourself in the equation. That's what truly matters to your child: you.
About the author
This blog was written by Kimberley Galenkamp. Kimberley helps thousands of parents across dozens of organizations every year using a proven method that builds resilience in parents and helps prevent burnout, absenteeism, and staff turnover. She has developed a journal especially for working parents, with weekly recurring questions and exercises for an entire year: Chapter YOU. Want to read more? Follow her on LinkedIn and Instagram.
