Most parents choose childcare primarily for practical reasons — work, study, or simply having a few mornings free for other responsibilities. The fact that it also gives toddlers' social development a significant boost is a welcome bonus. But it's no coincidence: good childcare is deliberately designed to support this, through daily routines, group structures, and a pedagogical approach that all work together.
What do we mean by toddlers' social development?
Social development is about much more than learning to share or wait your turn. It involves understanding others, expressing your own feelings, handling conflict, and building trust within a group. Toddlers between the ages of two and four are in a period when these skills develop at a remarkable pace — and when they are also most sensitive to their environment.
In practice, this means things like: making contact with another child, understanding that someone else wants something different, learning to wait, seeking comfort from an adult, and coping with frustration. These skills don't develop on their own — they need practice, and for that you need other children and a reliable adult to guide the process.
What does childcare actually do for toddlers' social development?
A daycare center (kinderdagverblijf/KDV) offers something that's hard to replicate at home: a consistent group of peers in an environment specifically designed for playing, learning, and growing together. But this doesn't happen automatically. It depends on how the childcare setting organises that environment.
Daily routine as the foundation for social skills
A predictable daily routine gives toddlers a sense of security. When a child knows what's coming next — first free play, then lunch together, then time outside — they don't need to spend as much energy making sense of the situation. That energy is freed up for social interaction. Regular moments like circle time or shared mealtimes aren't incidental: they are practised situations in which children learn to listen, wait, and respond to others.
During a tour, feel free to ask what the daily routine looks like and how it balances free play with guided activities. A childcare setting that has thought this through carefully will be able to explain it clearly and concretely.
Play, space, and group composition
The physical environment plays a bigger role than you might expect. Spaces that invite collaborative play — a home corner, a building area, a table for creative activities — encourage children to connect with one another. A group that is too large or lacks variety can actually make that connection harder.
Whether a childcare setting uses horizontal groups (children of the same age together) or vertical groups (mixed ages) also makes a difference. In mixed-age groups, younger children learn from older ones, while older children practise taking responsibility. In same-age groups, all children are at a similar developmental stage, which encourages different forms of play. Neither approach is inherently better — what matters is that the choice is intentional and fits the setting's overall philosophy.
What a childcare professional does differently from a parent
A childcare professional (pedagogisch medewerker) keeps an eye on the group as a whole, not just one child at a time. That might sound like a limitation, but it's actually an advantage for social development. They notice when two children are playing side by side without really connecting, and can gently bring them together. They name feelings out loud — "I can see you're angry because he took your blocks" — so that children learn that feelings have words.
This requires specific knowledge and training. Childcare professionals are educated in developmental psychology and work with a pedagogical policy plan that sets out how they handle emotions, conflict, and group dynamics. This is different from the loving but intuitive approach most parents use at home — and that's precisely what makes it complementary.
How do toddlers learn to get along with other children?
Toddlers don't learn social skills through explanation — they learn through repetition and experience. A child who has seen a conflict talked through dozens of times begins to internalise that pattern. This only works in an environment where it happens consistently, and where an adult is present to guide the process without taking it over.
Conflicts are part of that process. A toddler who tries to grab a toy car from another child is learning something in that moment about boundaries, reactions, and consequences. The role of the childcare professional is not to prevent that conflict, but to let it unfold safely and guide it constructively. Settings that separate children too quickly or avoid conflict altogether are actually doing them a disservice.
Friendships at childcare also matter. Children who regularly see the same peers build familiar, trusting relationships. This gives them a foundation from which to take social risks — approaching someone, asking for something, trying something together.
What should you look for to know whether a childcare setting handles this well?
A well-written pedagogical policy on a website means little if it isn't visible in practice. What you can assess is how staff interact with children during a tour. Watch whether they communicate at eye level, whether they name feelings, and whether they guide conflicts or ignore them.
Ask to see the pedagogical policy plan and how it shows up in day-to-day practice. A setting that only has the plan on paper will struggle to make it concrete. One that truly lives by it will be able to give you examples of how they handle a crying child, a conflict between two toddlers, or a child who is finding it hard to settle into the group.
The Municipal Health Service (GGD) inspection report is an additional check. It shows whether the childcare setting meets the requirements for the pedagogical climate — one of the four domains the GGD inspects annually. A comment or violation in that domain is a signal to ask further questions.
Getting started: how to choose a childcare setting that takes social development seriously
When comparing childcare locations, put the pedagogical approach at the top of your checklist. During tours, ask specifically how staff handle conflicts and emotions, how the group is composed, and what the daily routine looks like. Also look at the space itself: does it invite children to play together, or are they mostly occupied on their own?
Early childhood education (VVE)
For children who need extra support with language, motor skills, or social development, there is VVE (vroeg- en voorschoolse educatie) — an early childhood education programme offered at some daycare centers and preschools. If a professional such as a paediatrician or speech therapist suggests this may be relevant for your child, it's worth specifically looking for childcare settings with a VVE accreditation. On Kiddie.nl, you can filter for VVE when searching.
Preschool (peuterspeelzaal)
A peuterspeelzaal is a separate form of childcare for children aged two to four, focused on learning through play and social development. Sessions are limited (usually three to five half-days per week) and the emphasis is on group experiences. For children who are not yet attending a daycare center, a peuterspeelzaal can be a good first step into group life. Keep in mind that it is not a substitute for regular childcare if you are also working or studying.
On Kiddie.nl, you can compare daycare centers and preschool/toddler care in your area, including GGD inspection reports and information about pedagogical policies. This makes it easy to see which locations match what matters most to you for your child's social development.
